A beauty...

A Dream within a Dream Take this kiss upon the brow!  A Dream Within A Dream

Take this kiss upon the brow! And, in parting from you now, Thus much let me avow- You are not wrong, who deem That my days have been a dream; Yet if hope has flown away In a night, or in a day, In a vision, or in none, Is it therefore the less gone? All that we see or seem Is but a dream within a dream. I stand amid the roar Of a surf-tormented shore, And I hold within my hand Grains of the golden sand- How few! yet how they creep Through my fingers to the deep, While I weep- while I weep! O God! can I not grasp Them with a tighter clasp? O God! can I not save One from the pitiless wave? Is all that we see or seem But a dream within a dream?

"The Fates"

Dinner at The Pantry Friday night and then Coldstone Creamery, Jeff and I and the group were talking about some off-the-wall music video thing mixed with childhood memories, and then I brought up how when I was like 12-13 I made up a dance to "Boot Scoot Boogie", and performed it in front of people.

So, I'm taking Thomass home, and the first song that comes on the station is "Boot Scoot Boogie", and of course, I give him the pleasure of singing the song at the top of my lungs.

Next, I changed the station, and then we hear "Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)", which happened to be the song that was playing in the car of a special someone with whom I went out with on Thursday night.

Next, I changed the station again, and we hear "Slide", which is of course, gold to my ears, which also is a song that I think hit me at the right time ;-) ;-) ;-)

I love it when music really infiltrates ;-)

My Spring Break

I made Faith a crochet hook/needle/scissors holder.

Wye Mountain with friends. This is "the mom" shot.

Jeff, Bethany, Faith, Thomass

Faith's "Beatnik-Croquet-Poetry Slam-Shepherd's Pie" B-Day party!

Jen had her baby!! I met Evelyn at Faith's B-Day Party. Caught Jen being a mommy. Beautiful.

Mom and I went to Memphis, toured Graceland.

Graceland.

 

Future ceiling? Eh...maybe if I didn't have allergies ;-)

Our awesome steal--a 4.5 Star Westin Hotel!

Blues City Cafe and my beautiful mother.

Memphis Zoo, my first Panda!! SO CUTE!!

Ever been here? Go there soon and eat their ribs!!

I got to hold baby Evelyn for an entire hour!! 

Faith's "real" b-day party. Thomass, Faith, Jeff.

Lemon poundcake.

French Onion Tart

I made decorations!! Faith made her outfit!! 

Silly ladies ;-)

I went all out!

This Spring Break I burnt myself with the curling iron, which bounced twice on my arm. I later conceived a lie and told my brother that someone stabbed me at Juanitas, and I had to go get a tetnis shot. No stitches. He went along with it for a little while until Mom spoiled the fun. 

The prodigal son returned with Lance. 4 months. 35 pounds of awkward teenage clumsiness. He's so beautiful! 

I later wrastled him with my thighs just so I could get him still enough to kiss his head. Crazy dog. He's strong! Just think. He's gonna be 3 times this size. DANG!!

3 generations.

Arth-WRONG-tis

I think I have juvenile rheumatoid arthritis in my hands.
I'm not that old...right?
WRONG!!! Apparently, I am!
That's it. I'm swearing off crafts. And writing. And typing.
NOT.
Maybe I'll start taking Glucosamine and Chondroitin...

Conjunction Junction, What's Your Function?

Check out the assignment I gave my 7th grade Pre-AP class today ;-)
I definitely blew their minds with my example ;-)

"In a single sentence (well, it'll turn into a paragraph!) write at least 3 independent phrases with at least 3 conjunctive dependent clauses attached to them. Hint: your sentence should be just like the two examples that I gave on the board. 
Remember, here is one of the examples: 


'My robotic arm continued to make connections to my human nerve endings; even though, it was unconnected, and the battery was dead, thus this freaked me out so much that I raised my hand in class (my real hand), yet the teacher didn't call on me when I waved my hand in the air; I suffered silently, and I started to cry because my robot arm started flipping me the bird; this rude gesture was all it took for me to run out of the classroom screaming with my possessed robotic arm still attached.'


(There are 3 independent phrases here and 7 conjunctive, dependent clauses! Luckily, you only have to have 3 of each!)"


Ha, we'll see what happens tomorrow!

"The Evolution of the Hipster"

Cool website.
Check it out.
Learn about culture.
Laugh and relate ;-)

Hades-Still Gross

To continue the "mythological gross-outs", though to add some humor and "urban decay", I give you this:
"Kids, if you want to get a better picture of Hades instead of the rendition in 'The Odyssey', you should go and find the movie 'What Dreams May Come'". (It happens to be one of my absolute favorite movies!)

In response I get a: "Wet Dreams May Come"!!!!? "Gross Ms. Jones."
Urban Decay. When students equate wet dreams with a creepy uncle who marries his niece.
Ahhhhh, the youth of America.
Maybe next week I should focus on how to think before one speaks ;-)

Whooooooo-pi.

Okay. The Huffington Post published another one of their "7 Sites You Should Be Wasting Your Time on Right Now".
This one cracked me up ;-)
Go here.
I typed in: "Would you love your neighbor as yourself?"
She told me: "No sir, let's talk about your mamma, who's so dumb she got hit by a parked car."
Hahahahaha.

Disclaimer: Now, I realize this is a stupid website, and the responses are computer generated and can change every time you push "Whoopinate", but still...
I gotta go watch those movies soon ;-)

Absence. Ancients.

When you let almost a month pass on your blog, it's almost the death of it.
Oops.
I'm alive and kicking.
Let me prove it.
This post will be dedicated to The Ancients and teaching about them.
I am so getting a kick out of teaching my students about Greek/Roman Mythology, mostly for the "sick" factor. It's a gross topic at times, and my kids get grossed out.
I love every minute of it. I'm so glad that I can get away with teaching this stuff!
Call me morbid.
        

#1: Mother Zeus: Dionysus, born of Zeus's thigh/testicles.

    

#2 Uncle Incest: Uncle Hades kidnaps niece, Persephone, and makes her his queen. Ugh.

#3: Cronus's Bits Grow "Love": Cronus is cut up by Zeus, thrown in the sea, out comes Aphrodite, Cronus's granddaughter (and daughter??)...

#4: Hungry Dad: Cronus, hungry and fearful father, eats his children in front of their mother, Rhea. Later, he vomits them out. 

Nooo! Say It Ain't Sooo!

The White Stripes Say Goodbye: The Best Live Band on the Planet Calls It Quits

What is the Internet!?

La Solidarité

For the times when we have all been there...
(I just ran across this.  Liked it.)

Forced Appeal?

My Papa would want me to be happy.
So today I woke up, thought to myself, I am gonna put on a headband, some hazel eye-hightening eye liner, and a hand-made button brooch.
And I did.
Then I talked to my mom.
Then I got sad.
Then I drove to work and got to school feeling sorry for myself.
But then all the kids told me I looked cute.
And then Mr. Sisk hugged me.
So, then I said to myself: "Papa would still want me to be happy."
Then I forgot about myself.
Then I got sad.
Then I realized how selfish I must be.
Then I remembered my well-being.
And so then I started to find things that would make me smile. Well, actually some things just started falling into place.

*(In chronological order for the most part)*:
1-
One of my 9B basketball boys, who is super cool, who I've know for 3 years, and who teases me all the time because I guess I am one of those teachers of his with whom he can connect, tried to call me out on being racist (he was joking of course, and we both knew this).
I think that he was trying to get a rise out of me. He knew that I had been upset.
He said: "Can I get a high-five cuz I've done my homework lately?"
I was on the out, about to go to the copy machine to get some papers to give to them, so I looked at him, gave a smirk, and said: "Hmmmm, maybe later...", just to mess with him. He knew I was messing with him.
Anyway, he goes: "Why, is it cuz I'm half black?!"
It was hilarious. I'm just like: "Why do you have to bring up being black?! That's racist!!"
Then it was over, and he had made me laugh, and he laughed, and the whole class laughed, and I gave him a high five like 20 minutes later out-of-the-blue.
2-
I had given my 9A Speech class an assignment: "Lord of the Flies Talk Show". They had to have select characters, a rubric, get in a group and act out an Oprah-esque talk show.
Well, I have this genius kid who worked on his own, and he made a green/split-screen video (that he showed to the class today) where he actually acted all of the different roles by himself.
It was clever and HILARIOUS. The kids thought it was so funny at how hard I laughed.
3-
Then I got a text from a friend after I told him that my parents were driving home to AR: "Are you going to have a family pow wow when they get back?" It made me smile.
I should make feather headbands and bring kettle corn ;-) It'd make my mom smile ;-)
4-
Then I got a text from another friend. I told her that randomly "What Sarah Said" came on my Pandora. She said: "Ow wow, that is almost too creepy. Like, 'Hey Papa DJ of Pandora in the next life, thanks for sending me a shout out.'" That made me smile. My Papa would do that.
5-
Then I saw how pregnant Jen is lately, and it made me smile: 

6-

Then I was "spacing" through my Google Readers, and I saw several things that I'm gonna share with you. 

Abstract quilt!!

It's a tree branch!!

7-

Then I remembered a video that always makes me happy: 

 8-
My brother has a new puppy named Lance. I love it without ever having met it, and I get to meet it tomorrow and he told me that I can make it a crocheted collar!!!
I'm stoked. I will be crocheting that on the way down to the Bethel Cemetery near Castor, LA on Wednesday. He also told me it was okay if I "carried it around like it's my friggin' baby...toting it around and letting it lick me all day."
My brother loves me. I think this new Weimaraner puppy (which he got Sunday) will love me more than him ;-)

9-
I have this sweet, sweet 6th grade student, who had given me this last week, and I found it again on my desk. She picked the right day to be EVEN sweeter, and she doesn't even know it ;-)

10-
I also have another 6th grader who made a Lego watch! I promptly asked him to take it off so I could have my photo ;-)

11-

I took a photo of my button brooch.

12-

And this is me currently.

13-

And this is me currently for the next few moments: 

I want to thank you all for keeping me and my family in your thoughts and prayers. 

I know it'd 'uh been hard without you-especially you and you and you. 

Merci mille fois,

Jess

Waiting. Unfinished Business?

There was a lot of this going on today.

And a lot of this.

What is going on!!? LOOK UP! It doesn't have to look so dark!   

Yes, keep looking. It'll get lighter.

Riddle me this:

12 years on an oxygen mask. 12 years dependent. 

12 PM 1-22-2011 take off ventilator.

11 AM 1-23-2011 still breathing on his own. 

That's almost 24 hours.

No sense at all. 

There are some things in life that we will never understand until...

Such as: 

*What is he waiting on?

*How is he breathing?

*Why are we having to go through this?

*Does he want to go out with a bang? Stubborn as ever...?

You can't answer me this.

This is torture.

Older Chests

The Dreaded, Joyful Exit

Today my mom got a most dreaded phone call that no one should receive:
"Your father is not doing well; he's gotten worse. We don't anticipate that he will survive through the night."
My Papa not only has emphysema, COPD, a ventilator, a feeding tube, and pneumonia, he is now carrying VRE. 
Family members have to guard themselves against this latest illness when going in to see him.
Also, the lining around his lungs has inflated, which has caused the rest of his body to take on air, causing him to look bloated.
My mom was planning on going today to OKC to be with him, and then the weather hit, and she was not able to. She wants to go tomorrow. 
It is dreadful that we all have to go through this, especially my mom and my Papa's wife, Jo. 
When I was in OKC last week with mom, we had to walk away from Papa, after having to say goodbye to him, knowing with a heavy burden that we may never get to see nor talk to him again.
I have only once seen my mom so small and that was when my Nana passed away when I was 9. 
I don't like the memory at all. Either of them. I think, no, I know, this time is worse since I am so much older and mature. I never want to see my mom that small again. Ever. I never want my mom to crumble up like that again.
That is what is dreadful for me. The memory of seeing my mom like that and seeing my Papa propped up and poked on in the hospital. 
That is what is going to haunt me. 
I can talk about my Papa. I can talk about my Nana. My mom and I can talk about them. I think that is where the joy lies-in the good memories and the love that we give them through talking about them.
I also think that the joy lies in knowing that Papa is not going to have to go through the hospital stays any more, and that we are not going to have to see it...I'm glad that we'll be able to talk about it. 
I guess that's a joyful thing. 
I feel selfish because I'm writing this post about the people who are not "suffering" instead of writing it all about my Papa, who is suffering. 
But we are all suffering in mental health. 
I think that I am ready and starting to be at peace with several exits. 
I am ready to deal with my Papa's passing. I am ready to be there for my mom and Jo in my Papa's passing. I am ready to be joyful that he is not suffering anymore. I am ready to be joyful that we don't have to see him suffering anymore. 
The aftermath will be hard, yes, but at least I know that I will not dread thinking about the good stuff. And hopefully the good memories will slowly erase some scar tissue.
Please be with my family and I, if in at least you send us kind thoughts. 
Please be with my mom as she will undoubtedly travel tomorrow. 
“Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.” Psalm 23:4

A Girl from up There

Now, this is the story all about how
my life got flipped-turned upside down, 
and I'd like to take a minute
just sit right there
I'll tell you how I became the friend of a girl from up there.


In east Wisconsin born and raised
eating cheese curds is how she spent most of her days
chillin' out maxin' relaxin' all cool
and thinkin' up magic, followin' every rule.
When a couple of songs,
which were sang oh so well,
started peakin' her interest, started ringin' her bell.
She heard one little show tune, bought a ukulele-
set off to create a beautiful world fo' us to see.


I met this (now) woman in an odd, odd way
Came up, told me she wanna be my friend one day.
I said, "Uh, I was thinkin' the very same thing"! -Click!
From that day on, she and I was in this tight friendship.


Faith Laska: yo, you is rad
crafting with you is like: "WHAT!"-so glad.
Is this when life must bring some light?
Knowing you as a friend? ..must be alright!


Intermission ('cuz this song is getting ridiculously corny! And Kermit can't possible make this more ridiculous! Can he!?):

(I cut the song here for you all.) (You're welcome!)
(And last verse!)


Yo, we take what we given,
we say "screw it" and spit back.
Tell me yo' problems and Imma nurse yo' slack.
Lean on my yes's and I'll give no no's.
We gonna hold each other up--emotional car jack.


(Now go back and re-read this and imagine me playing basketball with some sagging basketball shorts and a backwards cap on.)
(I just shot a 3-pt and made it.)

La fin.
Love,
Jess

Forget-Remember-Begin to Hope

I've made things...after I got rid of things.
I got rid of all of my plastic CD cases and opted to create CD jacket sleeves.
I used to make these quite often, back in the France days, and now that I've picked it back up, I have a whole alphabetical collection for ALL of my CD's.
They are all stocked in two cute organizational boxes on the bottom of the Neon's floorboard.
Ingredients:
Cardstock, magazine clippings, CD album art, alphabet stickers, and packaging tape

Et voilà.
Also tonight, at the Rice Street "December House", Thomas, Faith, Brad and I all had a "Create-your-own-Pizza" Pizza Party. Twas fun ;-)
Over a period of a few days there was much debate on what pizza I would be creating, I finally remembered that there was no debate at all. 
I was to make lahmacun. And that is just what I did. 
I first learned how to make it in my Turkish Cooking classes. 
It's funny how you forget and then miraculously just, well, remember ;-)

Lahmacun sans the dressings

Anyway, I sadly didn't get photos of all the pizzas, but here are a few: 

Brad's pizza


Oh, and before I forget (because I remembered!), I bought a ring off of Etsy: 

Fabric button with wire

I like it a lot. 

I broke it this morning. 

AHHHHHHHHHHH-SUCKS. 

That's okay cuz the only reason I bought it was to mimic it. 

I'm going to start making wire jewelry again...something that I've been meaning to remember to get back to recently. 

Begin to Hope. I've remembered some things. CD sleeves, lahmacun, and wire jewelry.

Thank God for Regina.
Laters gators-Jess